


wanting was enough

by kingquentin



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e05 A Life in the Day, M/M, Mosaic Timeline (The Magicians: A Life in the Day)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingquentin/pseuds/kingquentin
Summary: Quentin wasn’t really sure what made him ask. They had been at the mosaic for years now, and the purpose of their task wasn’t something that either of them constantly thought of anymore. It hadn’t been for a long time. But as they both lay in bed after yet another long day of placing tiles in apparently meaningless patterns and caring for their son, Quentin couldn’t help but put words to the random thought.“Do you think we’ll ever make it back?”
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 18
Kudos: 63





	wanting was enough

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I didn't really think I would write again, especially not so soon, but my brain randomly said, "Let's try our hand at actual dialogue!" and then this happened. I've been listening to Taylor Swift's folklore on repeat since it came out, and these verses from "august" hit me especially hard.
> 
> _Back when we were still changin' for the better_   
>  _Wanting was enough_   
>  _For me, it was enough_   
>  _To live for the hope of it all_

Quentin wasn’t really sure what made him ask. They had been at the mosaic for years now, and the purpose of their task wasn’t something that either of them constantly thought of anymore. It hadn’t been for a long time. But as they both lay in bed after yet another long day of placing tiles in apparently meaningless patterns and caring for their son, Quentin couldn’t help but put words to the random thought. 

“Do you think we’ll ever make it back?” 

For a moment he wasn’t sure Eliot even heard him. He wondered if he’d already fallen asleep. 

“Is it bad if I say I don’t want to?” Eliot whispered. 

Quentin turned onto his side and looked at him in the pale light. 

“You don’t?” 

“No. I used to, more than anything, but now….” Eliot trailed off. “I want to solve this damn puzzle. I want to get the key, I want our friends to get magic back, but…. The quest, Brakebills, being kings of Fillory… that’s not us anymore. That hasn’t been our life for a really long time. I’m actually _happy_ here, in a way that I’ve never been before. I don’t want to leave it behind,” he said quietly. 

Quentin stared at Eliot in awe as he spoke. Even after all of the time that they’d been together, he sometimes still couldn’t believe how lucky he was that he got to _be_ with Eliot, to watch him grow as a person and as a father. The Eliot that Quentin knew at Brakebills would never have been able to admit something like that. Feelings weren’t something that Eliot Waugh, Party King of the Physical Kids Cottage, did. They were barely even something that High King Eliot the Spectacular did. But this Eliot was the most spectacular of all. Sure, he still had issues now and again with openly discussing his emotions, and he still reverted back to wearing his _nothing can hurt me, I am above it all_ mask occasionally, but those instances grew rarer and rarer as time went on. Eliot had grown and changed so much in the years they’d spent at this impossible task. They both had. 

Quentin couldn’t help the fond smile growing on his face. He was so in love with the man lying next to him. “I don’t want to leave it either.” 

“Besides,” Eliot continued, “I don’t think we could even if we wanted to. It wouldn’t be fair to take Teddy from his home, or from Ari’s family. This is his whole world, it’s all he’s ever known. We can’t just throw a kid into the middle of an insane quest. Or, god, the _fairies_. I can’t believe I forgot about them.” Eliot shuddered. “Jesus, it’s been so long.” 

“It’s okay,” Quentin said, reaching out to take Eliot’s hand. “We don’t need a list of reasons not to want to leave. This is our home. That’s good enough for me. We’ll solve the mosaic, we’ll get the key, and we’ll make sure it gets to them. And we’ll write a hell of a letter explaining everything.” 

It was Eliot’s turn to smile fondly. “Can you imagine Margo’s face when she reads it? God, there’s no way she doesn’t try to find a way here to kick our asses and bring us back with her. I think she’ll have an aneurysm when she finds out I’m a dad. I mean, I know I already was, but…” Eliot laughed a little wetly. 

“I’m sorry I never ask about her.” 

“It’s okay. I don’t exactly bring her up, either. It’s just…. It was a lot. It didn’t even really sink in that I was going to be a father before Fen was spirited away, and when she came back alone, I thought we’d never see our daughter. And then the fairies invaded, and suddenly she was a teenager? I didn’t even have enough time to get used to the idea of her being around, let alone a chance to get to know her.” Eliot closed his eyes and sighed. 

“I’m really sorry, Eliot.” Quentin squeezed his hand. 

“Nothing we can do about it now.” Eliot smiled wanly. “Hopefully my poor wife can handle her on her own. Not that she really has a choice about it. I don’t know if I ever could have been there for Fray how Fen wanted me to be.” _Not how I am for Teddy,_ was left unsaid but heard all the same. 

“I still can’t believe they named her Frail Human,” Quentin said, hoping to lighten Eliot’s mood a little. 

“God, _right?_ Fairies are such dicks. I’m glad we’ll never have to deal with them again.” Eliot sighed in satisfaction as he stretched his long limbs. “I do feel kind of bad for abandoning everyone, but… I’m sure they’ll understand. Eventually”  
  
“We’re not abandoning them. We’re doing our part of the quest, and they’ll do theirs. This is our family. Our home. They _will_ understand.” _Or at least_ , Quentin thought, _Julia will. Hopefully._

“They’ll have to learn to accept it. We’ll be long gone by the time the key even gets to them. And Jane isn’t around anymore to dish out some time magic fuckery. Well, I guess she technically probably hasn’t even been born yet….” 

Quentin, having read the Fillory books so many times that he still had them memorized well into his thirties, and knowing about Jane’s status as the Watcher Woman and the Clock Barrens, knew that wasn’t necessarily true. But he decided not to comment on it. “I’m just glad you’re still optimistic about our chances.” 

“Well,” Eliot sighed dramatically. “If we don’t have hope, what do we have?” 

“A kid. A home. A bunch of friends and all of magic depending on this infuriatingly impossible part of the quest.” Quentin snarked before smiling gently. “A really fucking great marriage.” 

“That we can definitely agree on.” Eliot smiled, leaning in to kiss Quentin softly. “If you had asked me at any point in my life before we got here, I never would have believed that I could have this,” Eliot whispered in the space between their lips. 

Quentin hating hearing that, but he knew how true it was. His heart would always break when he thought of Eliot’s past and how deeply it would affect him for the rest of his life. “Well, you’d better get used to it. I don’t plan on going anywhere for a really, _really_ long time.” 

“Is that so?” Eliot grinned, pulling Quentin in to settle against his chest, his favorite way to sleep. “That’s good, because I don’t plan on ever letting you go.” 


End file.
